New Chapter, New Blog.

After some thought, I’ve decided to leave this tumblr behind. There are so many memories, both good and bad, that I’ve unleashed here. However, I’ve realized that if I continue to cling to my past, I’ll never be able to really move on. Although changing blogs is not exactly a drastic action, it’s a meaningful one for me.

If you’re interested (which I don’t think anyone actually is), I will be writing a lot at somethingmustbesaid.tumblr.com . I’m saying goodbye to the old me and embracing the new. I hope you decide to join me on my journey as you have for the past four years.

Thank you to my 100+ followers. It’s been real.

Love in sanity,

L

1 note   -  29 June 2013

How do you win a game you don’t know you’re playing?

Wow, I haven’t been compelled to write in a very long time. I suppose there is a time and place for everything - Tumblr just happens to be this time and place.

How am I supposed to win a game that I don’t even know I’m playing? How am I supposed to win a race that I don’t even know I’m running? When people keep count of my shortcomings and failures, it makes it pretty difficult to move forward. I understand that I’ve done some wrong, but does that make me a villain? Far from it. I’ve definitely had some mistakes, but does that make me a criminal? I sure hope not. And yet that’s all I feel like when I’m reminded of all that I could have done better. 

I hate this feeling more than anything. It’s like just when I thought I was doing better; just when I thought I had a good head on my shoulders, someone comes along and says “AHHH, waaatch it, you’re gonna fck up like you did before!” How do you respond to that? What do you say?

Most of the time, it’s not too much of a big deal to me, especially if it comes from someone whose opinion I don’t particularly care about. Sometimes though, it comes from people whose opinion I DO care about and that’s when it gets kind of difficult. All the affirmation, support, and love you expect is suddenly vanished and all hope seems gone in a second.

Like trust, HOPE can take an eternity to gain, but can be lost in a matter of moments. I feel like when you lose trust in me, I lose hope in myself. 

& that doesn’t just break my heart; it’s shattered. Now I must pick up my pieces.

Love in sanity,

L

1 note   -  1 March 2013

10 degree weather, the worst arthritis pain I’ve ever had, gout flare up, and rubbery vegetarian food. These kids are the reason why I stayed in that mountain. It only took a day for he to fall in love :) #graceofgod #wrightwood #campmariastella #confirmationretreatleader #aliveinspirit #knowledge #mytroublemakers

10 degree weather, the worst arthritis pain I’ve ever had, gout flare up, and rubbery vegetarian food. These kids are the reason why I stayed in that mountain. It only took a day for he to fall in love :) #graceofgod #wrightwood #campmariastella #confirmationretreatleader #aliveinspirit #knowledge #mytroublemakers